


Boundless

by pandalotl



Category: B.A.P
Genre: And of course humans, Ghosts, Gods, Himchan has too much love to give, M/M, Smut, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-07 23:16:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21466153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandalotl/pseuds/pandalotl
Summary: In which the existence of vampires and humans are intertwined upon Earth, spectres roam in secrecy away from the eyes of those who have not come close to death, and gods keep the world running as it does. While one god searches for another outlet to quench his insatiable thirst for love, another pursues a warmth he has never felt before. As events unfold, the two of them cause ripples in the lives of the most unexpecting of beings.
Relationships: Bang Yongguk/Choi Junhong | Zelo, Kim Himchan/Moon Jongup
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	1. Love Knows No Bounds

Himchan combs his fingers gently through the dark strands of his lover’s hair as the younger boy catches his breath, chest rising and falling with notable strenuity as the final intense waves of pleasure wash over him, leaving him in a much calmer pool of rippling bliss. He slowly opens his eyes just a fraction and blinks sleepily at Himchan, who simply smiles and presses a small kiss to his forehead. 

“Are you okay, pup?” Himchan asks, voice just above a whisper. He tucks his lover’s hair behind his ear and spoils him with a few more kisses down the bridge of his nose, ending up right on the end, chuckling when the boy scrunches his nose up and lazily swats him away, nodding. “Good. You were so good for me, Jonguppie. You’re always so good for me.”

Jongup doesn’t have the energy to fight the little smile he gives Himchan. “Someone has to be, you’re insatiable otherwise.” he murmurs, snuggling into his usual place just under the elder’s chin. 

“I’m insatiable anyway,” Himchan sighs, sounding slightly distracted. The fingers playing with Jongup’s hair come to a standstill. “You know I’m absolutely, deeply and completely in love with you, don’t you, pup?”

“I know; I feel it, and you kind of glow a bit, y’know,” Jongup says, taking in the sight of Himchan’s bright skin, the happy flush on his pale features that seems somewhat luminous when he’s with people he loves. His sleepy mind finally catches up with how distant Himchan sounds. He frowns from under his fringe. “Why do you ask?”

Himchan squirms down a little bit on the human bed, internally cursing the mortal craftsmanship as it squeaks under his movement. He shuffles until he’s nose-to-nose with Jongup, who whines softly at the loss of his usual comfort spot. Lacing his fingers through Jongup’s, he takes the younger’s hands into his and squeezes them, not breaking eye-contact. “I have so,  _ so  _ much love to give, baby. Blame my duties, or my parents, or just blame me, but I have so much love to give out and share that it physically burns--”

“I know,” Jongup says quietly. “We’ve spoken about this before. I don’t care, Himchan.. Sleep with as many people as you want,  _ I don’t care-- _ ”

“Jongup, let me speak,” Himchan says firmly, pressing their joined hands against the younger’s mouth to silence him. “I’m not just talking about sex right now, pup. I love you incredibly much, you give me everything I want from you and more-- I couldn’t ask for a better person to be in love with. But I don’t-- I don’t think you can physically hold all of my love, and it’s not fair to ask you to try.”

“What are you saying?” Jongup mumbles from behind Himchan’s fingers. There’s nervousness in his eyes that Himchan just wants to make disappear. 

“I’m saying that I’m not ruling out the possibility of having another partner, a loving and sexual partner,” he watches Jongup’s face fall with worry and frowns, leaning forward to kiss all over his face. “It’s your choice, whether you stay with me through that or not, but I need you to know that they wouldn’t replace you, pup. Nobody could ever replace you, my love. They’d simply be sharing some of the burden. Do you trust me?”

Jongup stares directly into Himchan’s eyes and speaks softly, every syllable said with the utmost earnest. “I’ve trusted you for almost four hundred years.”

~

“Are you going to work already?” Youngjae asks, concerned. 

Daehyun finishes outlining his second eye with black and pops the lid back on the pencil, sighing at his reflection in the mirror. He makes eye contact with Youngjae through the mirror and nods, before turning around to face him. “Yes, the sun’s going down already and I need to maximise my hours. I have regulars on Thursdays, you know that.”

There’s no bite in what Daehyun’s saying, but Youngjae winces all the same, addled with guilt as well as faint nausea at the images his mind unhelpfully provides. He gives his friend an imploring look. “Look, Dae, you don’t have to do this anymore. I-I’ll get a job-”

Daehyun snorts. “Doing what? Who’s going to hire a vampire like you? Or me, for that matter. I’m lucky to even have a job, even if it is..  _ This _ . We’re useless, Youngjae. Just accept it already.”

“We are  _ not  _ useless,” Youngjae hisses. “We can earn money another way; you’re stronger than they give you credit for, you know you are. Stop pretending you’re okay with this, I know you’re angry-”

“Of course I’m fucking angry,” Daehyun shoots back, voice barely more than a growl. “I hate it, all of it. I hate being treated like a weak little bitch every night, I hate the comments, I hate the leering and the shit they make me wear,” there’s such intense fury in his eyes that Youngjae takes a step back, Daehyun’s pain so obvious in his tone that it’s cutting him deep, too. Daehyun senses his friend’s discomfort and softens on a drawn-out sigh, holding out his little finger. Youngjae reaches out and hesitantly links it with his. “But you need to eat, Youngjae. You’re my family and I’m not going to let a bit of struggling lead to you getting sick. I can bear it, and  _ will  _ bear it. You can’t stop me looking out for you.”

Youngjae smiles sadly. “What you do for me is so much more than just looking out. I worry about you, idiot.”

“I can take care of myself. There’s no need to worry.”

The pause in conversation gives way to a solemn silence hanging over the two, their pinkies still hooked together protectively-- though neither can be sure of whom is being protected. Daehyun is the first to break their physical connection, trying to plaster on a reassuring smile for Youngjae’s sake before slipping into his jacket and walking to the doorway.

“Make sure to eat while I’m at work, ok? I don’t want to come home and see you’ve collapsed again from being stubborn. I know you think you’re helping conserve money but you’re just worrying me.” Daehyun says, authority ringing loud and clear in his tone. Usually Youngjae wouldn’t care about his friend’s nagging orders, used to it enough for him to hold onto his own brattish defiance, but in this case he knows Daehyun is right.

“I will. Have a safe night, hyung.”

Daehyun grimaces in response and leaves the apartment, shutting it behind him with a click. 

~

Jongup smooths his palm down Himchan’s bare chest, smiling into the kiss he’s sharing with the elder as he feels Himchan pushing his tongue between the seam of his lips. He kisses back just as deeply and lets his legs tangle with Himchan’s under the sheets. There are still remnants of Himchan’s release drying between Jongup’s thighs, his own seed sticky and mildly uncomfortable splashed upon his stomach and upper abdomen, but he can’t find it within himself to be bothered to move-- not when Himchan’s already working him up again like this. Himchan is so incredibly warm to the touch in this moment, radiating both love and faint light ever since he agreed to opening their relationship.

“I don’t deserve you, pup.. God I love you so much..” Himchan murmurs over and over again between open-mouthed kisses, wrapping his arms around the smaller frame of his lover and delighting in the little whimpers and groans he gets in return.

“You can have me again if you want-”

“Uppie-hyung!” comes a loud shout from downstairs, followed by several chaotic crashing noises and the sound of a door slamming shut. “Uppie-hyung are you here? I’m home!”

Jongup hisses in annoyance, not helped by the amused grin Himchan gives him. 

“What were you saying, hm? About me having you again?” Himchan teases, giving a small slap to Jongup’s ass and pulling him in for another kiss. 

Jongup pushes him away reluctantly. “Well we can’t now, obviously. Junie’s home.” 

“Are you sure?” Himchan purrs, nipping at Jongup’s fingers and making him whine. “Would little Junhong  _ really  _ mind us putting on a bit of a show-?”

“You’re horrible,” Jongup giggles, shoving Himchan with more force. “You’re not even supposed to be here, quick! Get out! He’s going to ask you a million questions..”

“Well who says I’m not willing to answer them? Maybe I’m in the mood for a quiz.”

Jongup groans. “ _ Himchan-” _

Whatever reprimand was going to leave Jongup’s lips dissipates into thin air as Junhong stomps happily up the stairs, his huge gangly frame and heavy feet making a resonant thump with each step. Jongup looks around wildly and briefly considers smothering Himchan with pillows to escape the embarrassment of Junhong finding them like this in his bed. 

“Uppie-hyung, I had such a weird day today,” Junhong calls out, halfway up the stairs. “I’ve been waiting to tell you about it for so long-- why don’t you guys use phones?” he huffs, plodding across the landing to his bedroom. “Anyways, I bumped into this guy earlier on and he was really weird but kind of cool-”

“This is going to be interesting,” Himchan hums, a wicked glint in his eye as he makes himself comfortable in Junhong’s bed, refusing to let up on playing with Jongup’s hair even with the younger’s pleading eyes boring into him. 

“-He was absolutely covered in tattoos, and you know that’s usually a bit of a turn-off for me but he was actually really hot and-” Junhong pushes his way into his bedroom and Jongup resists the urge to curl up into a ball and hide, whole body cringing in Himchan’s hold as the kid’s babbling comes to an abrupt halt. Junhong’s eyes have widened to what looks like ten times their normal size, the teenager looking like something not too dissimilar to a huge bug as he stops in his tracks and stares hard at the two in his bed. “What the  _ fuck _ -”

“Hey Junhong, nice to meet you,” Himchan grins, stretching out and not bothering to cover himself up as the sheets pool at his hips. He’s known about the boy ever since he was born what with Jongup having made this house his home many centuries ago, knows most of the ins and outs of his life despite never having met him, and he feels a little creepy--not that this has ever stopped Himchan from doing anything. He holds out his hand, watching Junhong’s eyes as they follow the movement and land upon the gel-like wetness still sticking to his fingers and palm. Jongup yelps and slaps his hand down, making Himchan laugh loudly. “Oops, my bad. Maybe we’ll save the handshake until next time, hm?”

Junhong blinks, his face scrunching up into a frown as his mouth opens and closes like a goldfish. “What the fuck?” he repeats slowly, staring at Jongup. His gaze flickers between the two men in his bed, disgust and intrigue showing clearly on his face in equal measures. “I-in my bed, what the fuck-” He frowns harder at Himchan. “Wait, why are you so pretty?” he shakes his head as if it will somehow undo his words and then reverts back to confusion. “What the fuck?”

Himchan smirks. “The fuck was pretty good actually; you’d be surprised how.. _ adventurous _ your hyung is.”

Jongup and Junhong yell simultaneously and Jongup feels himself fading away with embarrassment, disappearing almost completely from Junhong’s vision while Himchan just watches him drain of all remaining colour. Himchan’s laughter softens though it doesn’t quite subside, and he cuddles Jongup closer, kissing his cheek while the younger grumbles ‘I hate you, Kim Himchan, I hate you’.

“You couldn’t hate me if you tried, pup, let’s not pretend.” 

The frown on Junhong’s face unravels a little and he visibly relaxes a bit in his haze of confusion. “Oh.. that.. That was kind of cute,” he blurts out. He peeks at Himchan shyly. “Uppie-hyung always mentions how nice you are to him, I’m glad I can see it for myself. I wasn’t expecting to meet you like this, though.. You know, in my bed..” he frowns again. “ _ Why _ are you in my bed?”

“Well it’s a lot comfier than any of the other beds that have been in this room, I can tell you that for nothing,” Himchan says, huffing at the memory. “Took a good handful of centuries for someone to buy something decent. It was more comfortable to make love on the floor when we first started coming here together.”

“Himchan,” Jongup says through gritted teeth, sinking further into invisibility. “Would you please stop informing the child about our sex life? It’s completely unnecessary!”

Himchan gives Jongup a pout nothing short of utterly obnoxious. “Where’s the fun in leaving out the juicy bits? I haven’t even got started on the things your mouth could do when we did it against the wall-”

“Oh my god,” Junhong says, looking like he wants to scream. “Is he always like this, Uppie-hyung?”

Jongup sighs and brings himself back to human view, giving Himchan a better look of his flushed cheeks. He nods and whacks his lover. “He’s ridiculous.”

“You knew what you were signing up for, babe,” Himchan says, giving an obnoxiously big kiss to Jongup’s cheek. “Besides, you know you love me.”

“I do.. Lord knows I need my head checking.”

Himchan glows more brightly and wraps his arms around his lover, cuddling him tight. “I think you’re a little dead to be turning up to a psychologist, pup, but I adore you.” He plants little kisses all over Jongup, wherever he can physically reach, making Jongup squirm adorably in his tight hold. 

Though it’s painfully obvious to Junhong and Himchan that Jongup is not-so-secretly enjoying the attention, Jongup swats Himchan away, conscious of the kid stood watching them. “Stop it.. Not when Junhongie’s here, please..” There’s a pout on Himchan’s face as he ceases his loving actions, but he does it anyway, more concerned with his lover’s comfort. Jongup gives him a grateful peck on the cheek and looks at Junhong, sitting up properly against the headboard. “What were you saying earlier, Junie? About the man?”

Junhong stands and blinks at them for a second, still trying to compute that there are men in his bed before coming to his senses and pulling his curious gaze away from Himchan. “Oh, right, um.. It was really odd. I was skateboarding by myself after classes finished and this really cool-looking guy just appeared out of nowhere.. So I skated right into him by accident- don’t look at me like that, hyung, I was being careful- and I expected him to get really angry.. But he just.. Didn’t?”

Jongup frowns. “How did he react? You did apologise, right?”

“Let the kid talk, you’re nagging him more than I would.” Himchan says with a grin, massaging Jongup’s shoulders. “Go on, child.”

“He just kinda.. I don’t know.. Looked a bit nervous? I apologised and he gave me the strangest look of surprise. He had his hands clasped and smiled at me, and I felt this super strange feeling like I’d seen him before.. I’ve never seen anyone like him, but somehow I feel like I’ve met him? Am I going crazy, hyung?” Junhong rambles, looking increasingly confused with every word spilling from his lips. “He looked almost relieved. Like he’d been in pain before I said sorry. Maybe he’s the crazy one?”

The expression on Jongup’s porcelain features looks as if it’s been painted on by an impressionistic artist after having listened to Junhong’s speech and been instructed to replicate it with a brush. “What? He sounds like a creep to me, Junie. Stay away from strangers in future. I don’t care if they’re handsome.”

Himchan gestures for Jongup to be quiet. “Describe him, boy.”

“Why? Not like you’re going to know any humans.” Jongup points out. 

“I just want to know what he looks like, he sounds sexy and I’m a sucker for my fantasies.” Himchan deflects, plastering on an annoying grin. Jongup rolls his eyes.

“Don’t pretend you have standards, you’re a sucker for anything.”

“I think I can safely say that  _ you _ are the one who does all the sucking, my dear,” Himchan kisses the top of Jongup’s head and plays with the hairs at the back of his neck as he physically cringes. “Do continue, Junhong. What did your mysterious man look like? You mentioned tattoos?”

Junhong nods. “He had a ton of them. Some on his arms and it looked like there was a huge swirly one on his chest under his t-shirt. The one on his forearm of the god face thingy stood out the most to me, though. It was so awesome.”

Himchan inhales unintentionally sharply, eyes widening just a fraction before covering it up with a cough. He’d know that tattoo anywhere, especially on the upper forearm of the most awkward being that ever existed. He keeps quiet while Junhong carries on blurting his thoughts on the stranger, only back channelling with a few faux-appreciative interjections to keep the information coming. Junhong’s words only paint a clearer picture of the man Himchan has in mind; the dark curls, thick lips and slightly drooping eyes belonging solely to one man Himchan knows relatively well.


	2. What is love

A small bundle is thrust into Daehyun’s arms as soon as he sets foot in the club via its back door. He doesn’t have to look to know what it is, and just the feeling of the thin mesh material has his skin crawling. He walks over to his usual corner outside the full changing room and hangs up his jacket, slipping out of his jeans and t-shirt right in the open and hanging them all up on the peg with his name written on. He’s long since numb from the embarrassment of having to change out here, ‘ _ No Vampires in the Changing Rooms’  _ engraved into his mind despite the sign itself having ripped and come unstuck months ago. 

His dick twitches in mild interest at the cold as he steps out of his boxers, and Daehyun is absently amused by the knowledge that this is as excited as he’s going to get all night--no matter what his regulars like to tell themselves. The amusement is short-lived and replaced by a grimace as he pulls the very much female underwear up over his thighs, trying to avoid the little bows at either side with his fingers in the vain hope that he might be able to forget that they’re there, pulling them up quickly so that they sit on his hips. The mesh shirt is next, the shimmering black material striking against the undead tone of his skin. He hates every inch of it.

There’s no stockings in his pile tonight,  _ thank god,  _ but the tight black collar is just as present as ever, only this time he’s been given the lace one rather than the leather, the one with girly black bows to match his underwear. He curses under his breath and ties the pretty thing around his neck in complete and utter irritation. He feels like an idiot, even more so than usual, and he knows he has a hard job ahead of him trying to get into character. 

“You’re on in ten, princess,” one of the staff members says, snickering at Daehyun’s appearance. “The girls are just finishing up on the pole. Stage is all yours soon. God knows why, but some of those men have been leering after you for half an hour or more.” 

“My regulars are loyal, what can I say?” Daehyun replies, voice an emotionless monotone. 

“Only because you’re the cheapest little whore we have here. You’re just filth, and you belong six feet under like every other fucking corpse.” the man spits, giving him a hard shove as he walks past to tend to some of the girls. 

There’s a sudden uproar of cheers from the main stage, the clicking of high heels growing louder as the four girls from the last act walk back to the changing rooms to freshen up somewhat before heading down to the basement to do private bookings for their higher paying customers. It’s Daehyun’s turn. He can hear the men chanting for their favourite pretty boy already.

He takes a deep breath and slips into his usual black ballet-style shoes--he’d flat out refused heels from the beginning--and closes his eyes for a moment, channelling as much fake, slutty naivete and innocence as he can muster before heading out to the stage.

  
  
“Danced so well out there, baby,” one of Daehyun’s regulars groans out, grubby hands groping at any part of the vampire’s lace-clad ass they can reach. “Put on such a good show just for me, didn’t you? My pretty little corpse whore.”

“Yes, master. Just for you.” Daehyun purrs out, the lie subtle yet still present on his tongue. As long as he knows it’s just an act, he can get through this. As long as he doesn’t let himself truly start thinking like the slut they see him as, he can build himself back up. 

He feels sick to his stomach as the man presses wet kisses all over his face before pushing his tongue between his plump lips. He tastes like strong alcohol and tobacco, a disgusting mix that has him fighting with himself not to heave. The man pays particular attention to Daehyun’s fangs--they always do--grunting lewdly as he runs his tongue over the sharp points, Daehyun forcing himself to keep his breathing steady and just take it, feeling like grime is spreading over his teeth ever-thicker with each passing moment.

The moment the man breaks the kiss feels like a small victory to Daehyun in itself and he takes the opportunity to bury his face in the customer’s neck, pretending to pant and giving out much higher moans than he would naturally. Playing up to the role of the helpless little vampire is what earns him tips, and he’ll be damned if he’s not getting the extras he’s due tonight. He grazes his fangs over the human’s neck without being prompted, remembering just how much this little trick earned him last time. As if by clockwork, the man moans and hits him hard on the ass. 

“Bet you’d love to feed right now, wouldn’t you princess?” he says lowly, the smirk obvious in his tone. Daehyun lets out a perfected whine and nods into the man’s neck though his nose scrunches up involuntarily at the very notion. “But you can’t. You’re just a useless, dead little slut, aren’t you? Say it. Say you’re my worthless slut.”

“I’m your worthless slut, master.” Daehyun whimpers, seething almost to the point of biting the man hard and draining him of any life--but the thought of Youngjae back at home and the knowledge of just how revolting the man’s blood would taste keeps him concentrated on the task at hand. The man tangles his dirty fingers in his hair and yanks his head back. 

“Good boy. On your knees, princess. All your pretty dancing got master so hard.” he orders, shoving Daehyun back hard enough that he’s practically thrown onto the floor. 

_ I bet it did, pervert _ , Daehyun thinks to himself, though his exterior is the picture of innocence as he crawls onto his knees and settles between the man’s knees, looking up at him with big violet eyes, nuzzling against his thigh like some kind of exotic pet. The man strokes his hair for a second, admiring the way the vampire’s white fangs dig into his thick lower lip, drawing miniscule trickles of pearlescent black ink-like liquid from his pretty, undead body. He draws his hand back and brings it snapping down on the boy’s cheek with a loud slap, hitting him harder for a second time at the lack of any flush or red mark.

“You’ll just stay looking like a little doll no matter how much I break you, won’t you bitch?”

“Yes, master. Your doll, master.” Daehyun says obediently, chewing his lip harder so that more of the dark liquid dribbles down his chin.

The man throws his belt to the floor and pulls his erection from his trousers, small and already dripping with pre-cum. It never takes much. Daehyun reckons there’s only five minutes left in this guy before he finishes and the hope spurs him on to stare wantonly up at the customer, little whines escaping his thick lips.

His regular rakes his hands through Daehyun’s hair and tugs, pulling him closer between his legs to the point that his plush lips brush against the tip of his dick. Daehyun has got this part down to a t, drooling onto the man’s dick like it’s something he actually craves and making his eyes as watery as he can make them. 

“Suck me, slut. Do what I’m paying you for, and do it well.” he spits, though Daehyun knows he barely has to touch the dirty old man for him to come at this point. He breathes in through his nose and holds eye contact with the man as he forces the man’s erection into his mouth, trying not to concentrate on the foul taste of someone who clearly doesn’t wash properly. The man moans and shoves himself all the way into the vampire’s mouth, barely hitting his tonsils--though of course Daehyun pretends to gag and choke prettily. 

Just as expected, the customer is moaning loudly and twitching violently in Daehyun’s mouth as he sucks him with exaggerated effort, allowing him to fuck his mouth with what little length he has to offer. The vampire blocks out all his senses, reducing them to nothing more than distant sensations, almost like being underwater.  _ Keep going,  _ he thinks, sucking harder and moaning around the man in the hopes that the vibrations of his voice will make him orgasm sooner,  _ this is for Youngjae.  _

“ _ Fuck _ \- ah..” the man groans, hands shaking as they grip Daehyun’s hair, one moving to hold his jaw right where it is. “Shit, that’s it, princess. Good boy, good little whore..”

All it takes is one flick of the vampire’s tongue and a quick graze of his fangs against the tip before the customer is coming, weak ropes of cum shooting into the back of Daehyun’s mouth. He’s forced to drink it all down while the man digs his nails into his cheeks, trying not to throw up at the disgustingly bitter taste and willing himself not to bite the man’s softening dick right off. He lets a small noise of distaste pass his lips, but the customer is so lost in his own selfish bliss that he doesn’t notice, only keeps his bruising grip on the vampire’s face.

After a minute or two he pulls Daehyun away from his dick, panting from exertion despite having done none of the work himself. He pulls his trousers up and tucks himself back in, leaving Daehyun on his knees as he reaches into his pocket for a wad of cash.

“You were such a good doll for me today, princess,” he says, petting Daehyun’s hair with his sweaty hand. “The wife was expecting me home a while ago, so I have to leave quickly-” Daehyun fakes a pout at this, and to his sly delight the man coos and pulls some more money from his pocket. “You did so well, I think you deserve a little extra. Buy yourself something pretty and show master next time, hm?”

“Yes, master.”

The man throws the money over Daehyun like a paper shower and stands up. “Bye, dolly.” he gives Daehyun’s cheek one last quick slap and makes for the exit, letting the next two men in on his way out while the vampire stuffs the money into his bag and quickly makes himself look inviting against the wall. 

_ One down, six to go. _

_ _ ~

  
“What exactly is it that you want from someone else? What are you looking for?”

It’s mid-morning, now, Junhong safely tucked away in school and his parents out of the house, leaving Himchan and Jongup to do as they please. Not that this conversation is in any way pleasing Jongup, but it is one they need to have nevertheless. He folds his arms and stares at his lover, awaiting an answer.

Himchan sighs, cuddling Jongup impossibly closer to him. He can hear the worry and discomfort laced in the spectre's tone and it has him physically burning up with the need to smother him in every ounce of his love. "There are no real specifics, pup. I'll know when I know. My only criteria right now is someone who can handle it, someone who has the capacity to love me, and someone who respects you too. You know I’d never let anyone into our lives who could hurt you.”

“But how did you know I was right for you? You’ve never actually told me.” Jongup pushes, wanting nothing more than to melt into the snuggle with Himchan but knowing that he has to understand this first, has to know exactly what his lover is asking of him, what he wants to bring into their comfortable world. 

“I’m the god of love, pup. You know what that means, how much love I have to give. It’s part of the instinct, knowing who can and can’t cope with it all. Most beings can’t handle it, especially the humans--it causes all kinds of nasty side effects,” Himchan explains, scratching the back of his head. “Sometimes they get really sick, panic attacks and heart problems included. That’s not what I want.. It’s the last thing I want. Only the really strong ones can manage the burden, and you, pup, you’re the strongest I’ve ever met.”

Jongup blushes a little, still clearly uneasy with the situation but touched by Himchan’s honesty. “Have you met someone already? Is that why you’re bringing this up all of a sudden?”

“No, not exactly..” Himchan says pensively.

The spectre frowns. “Hm? What does that mean?”

“I feel it, the presence of another future lover. I felt it with you, too, this kind of intense pull. Like I’m being drawn to someone. I’m desperate to follow it, pup.. It’s never wrong. But I need to know you accept first, or else I’ll just resist it. I’m not going to chase after something if it means losing you.” there’s so much craving in Himchan’s voice, his natural glow brighter and radiating more warmth than usual, irises having deepened to a rich magenta. He’s saying all the right thoughtful things, putting Jongup first as he always does, but the spectre still feels a painful ache at the very thought that he is not enough for Himchan. He’s never seen the god this desperate before, like an addict suffering the most agonising of withdrawals.

“I.. It’s all so sudden.. I won’t lie, Himchan, I’m struggling to understand why this has all come about now.. Have I done something wrong? Am I not doing things right, not giving you enough? Did I cause you to need someone else?”

Himchan feels his chest tightening, heart squashed under the guilt. Jongup thinks he sees the god’s eyes flash brighter as he secures his arms closer around him. “No! No, no, no, pup.. Of course not.. Of course not..” He stares into Jongup’s eyes in earnest. “I don’t know why the love gets stronger at the times it does. All I know is that it’s getting unbearable to fight the urges to smother you in it. Haven’t you noticed? How much time I spend attached to your side, how much I demand for us to make love, how much I need to touch and kiss you?”

“I just assumed it was a phase..” Jongup says quietly.

“If only it were that simple, love. It’s only going to get stronger. You can cope with so much more of it than anyone else I’ve ever met, but soon enough I’m pretty sure it’s going to get overwhelming even for you. I’m scared it’ll start to burn you, pup, when it gets too much.” 

Jongup sighs, rubbing his temples. “It’s not going to stop after this lover though, is it? How many more are you going to need?”

“I wish I could give you an answer..” Himchan’s voice trails off momentarily before he clears his throat and soldiers on. “In the future, there probably will be others-“ he catches Jongup’s expression of pure unhappiness and moves his hand down to stroke the spectre’s cheek. “But for now all I know is that I need to protect you from getting crushed under all this love. It’s not that you’re not enough, love, it’s that I’m too much.”

“What makes you assume I can’t handle it?” 

“I’ve seen what this does to people. I’ve caused so much sickness and pain before getting with you.. the humans, they’re the least capable of coping with it. Four centuries ago, Jonguppie, you were human too.” Himchan tries to word this carefully, but the spectre can see straight through his weak attempt at mitigation. 

Jongup stiffens up in his hold. “That was then. I’m dead, Himchan, this can’t kill me.”

“No, but it can still hurt you. If we continue like this it’s going to hurt you for much longer than any other being. It could burn you every time we touch for as long as you exist. You might not be mortal but you’re still.. You’re still..”

“Just a dead human, you might as well say it.” Jongup hisses, a rare bout of anger rising to the surface. The way the god flinches at his tone makes him wish he’d bitten the words back. He gently puts his hand over Himchan’s on his cheek and stares apologetically into his warm, fuschia eyes, saddened by the hurt etched onto them. “I don’t mean to be so upset about this.. I’m just scared. I know you want to do the right thing and I hate seeing you so desperate, but what if this new person splits us apart?”

Himchan presses a soft kiss onto Jongup’s forehead. “I could never let that happen, pup,” there’s so much honesty in every syllable of what the god is saying that Jongup nods, choosing to curl closer against him. “Listen, let’s make a compromise. Allow me to meet the person, see what they’re like, if the pull is still strong. Then you can meet them with me and if you’re unhappy, we figure something else out. I don’t know what that is yet, but we can cross that bridge if we come to it.”

“Okay..” 

“Are you sure? Say deal if you’re sure~” Himchan moves his hands to the ticklish spots on the spectre’s waist and the back of his knee, rolling over so that Jongup is giggling and squirming under him.

“Deal! Deal!” he protests, hitting gently at Himchan’s chest.

The god grins and pepper’s his lover’s entire face in grateful kisses. “I love you, I love you way too much.”

Jongup rolls his eyes but smiles at all the affection even so. “That’s exactly what the problem is.”

Himchan laughs and nuzzles their noses together. “You make a good point.”

~

There’s an obnoxiously dramatic knock at the door. It’s so loud and in such a peculiar rhythm that Yongguk sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, knowing exactly who it is already--which is just as well, as the visitor barges straight in without doing Yongguk the courtesy of announcing himself first.

“Himchan,” Yongguk acknowledges, his voice so deep and rumbling that Himchan doesn’t know whether he heard his name or felt it. “What brings you here?”

“Don’t look so pained. I’m not here to seduce you into our second affair, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Himchan says cheerfully, hopping up onto Yongguk’s desk and swinging his legs. He looks the curly-haired god up and down suggestively. “Although, if you’re offering..” Yongguk shoots him a look nothing short of disdainful. Himchan grins. “I’m joking, lighten up.”

Yongguk sighs again. “What do you want, Himchan? I’m not in the mood for visitors.”

The god of love gets down from the desk and wanders across the room as if it belongs to him, wrinkling his nose at the lack of light and at the stacks of paperwork littering the floor. He climbs over all the mess towards the curtains and flings them open, the warm golden light of the realm gushing in through the window and making Yongguk hiss. He glares at Himchan.

“What? You need some light in this goddamn hellhole. Just because you’re the god of war doesn’t mean you have to live on a bomb site,” Himchan dusts his hands off on his trousers. They’re stylish back on Earth, part of his ever-growing wardrobe and an item he is very pleased to own, despite the strange looks he gets here, but he’d rather get them dusty than have dead cells of lord knows what all over his hands. “Much better.”

“For the last time, what do you  _ want _ ?” Yongguk slams the book he had been reading down on the desk and folds his arms.

“To talk to you of course, grumpy guts.”

“What do we possibly have to discuss, Himchan? What we did was eons ago. Put it behind you and move on.”

Himchan’s eyes glitter, and Yongguk knows that can only mean trouble. “I have moved on. And so have you, apparently. Took you long enough.”

Yongguk frowns, puzzled. “I don’t know what you-”

“Junhong.”

The very name has the god of war flustered, a pale blush blooming along his cheekbones. “It’s not like that, Himchan. That kid.. He needs someone to look out for him. After what happened, I think it is well within my duty for that person to be me.”

“ _ After what happened,  _ I would’ve thought you’d be a little more careful with showing yourself to humans. You know the boy can see more than the others of his kind, Yongguk-- and if being seen by him wasn’t bad enough, you had to go and talk to him too?” He raises an eyebrow. “And for what it’s worth, he thinks you’re the hottest thing he’s ever seen. Wouldn’t shut up about you.”

It takes Yongguk a moment to process what Himchan is telling him, his frown knitting itself deeper into his forehead. “You.. You’ve spoken to him? You’ve seen him? Yet you’re lecturing me about being careful? At least I have a reason, Himchan. What’s your excuse?”

“I practically live with the child. It was only a matter of time before our paths would cross.  _ I  _ wasn’t the one lurking around and following him. You’re the creep here, Yongguk, stop pointing the finger at me.” 

“I’m not a ‘creep’,” Yongguk sighs, rubbing his forehead. “I’m simply doing my duty, making sure Junhong is okay.”

Himchan snorts, folding his arms. “If you were just looking out for him you could have just gone to the observatory up here like the guardians. There’s no need for you to even step outside of this realm. Give it up, Yongguk. Cut the bullshit, you’ve been busted.”

“You are such an irritant. Has anyone ever told you that before?” Yongguk says through gritted teeth. 

“And you’re pretty sexy when you’re angry, y’know,” Himchan grins again. “Fits the little bad boy, hot goth thing you’ve got going on. You should play on that, the kid’s really into it.”

Yongguk considers throwing everything on his desk at Himchan’s head. He narrowly resists the urge, burying his face in his hands. “Who let you into my house?”

“I did. Now stop deflecting. What do you really want with the kid?”

“To protect him. That’s all.”

“The lying is much less attractive, I have to say. I’m getting bored of it, Guk.” Himchan pouts dramatically. “Bored to  _ death _ ! My poor heart can’t take being lied to.”

“Maybe I should do it some more so you’ll stop causing me headaches.” 

Himchan reaches over to poke Yongguk on the nose. “A-ha! So you are lying.”

“No, no. I was just-” the god of war scowls up at the other, swatting his hand away. He sits up straight and gives Himchan an almost imploring look. “Himchan, please be serious for a minute. Was Junhong okay after meeting me? Was he scared? I-I don’t know how to behave on Earth, I can’t do it like you can. I worry that I perhaps made him uncomfortable.”

“Did you not hear a single word I said? The boy is infatuated already. My Jongup had to warn him about getting too close to strangers he was that enthusiastic. He’s probably having one of them gloriously dirty teenage dreams about you as we speak, the mucky fiend-”

“For god’s sake Himchan, censor yourself.” Yongguk groans. “Your perverted ideas aside, did Junhong say anything else?”

The god of love looks teasingly pensive for a moment, tapping his chin as if trying hard to recall something. Yongguk gets up from his chair, black ropes swishing around him as he walks around the desk to approach Himchan, grabbing the other man by the collar of his shirt. Himchan only laughs, cupping Yongguk’s cheeks and giving them a jovial squish. 

“Okay, okay lover boy. Junhongie said that he felt like he recognised you from somewhere. I guess he remembers more about this place than most do. Usually that sort of thing happens between beings with a bond, but I’m only the god of love. What do I know about matters of the heart?”

Yongguk looks pained. “Look, I.. I don’t understand feelings like that.”

“Poor little fledgling lovebird. Talk to doctor Himchan~”

“If you ever call yourself that again I shall personally take a knife to your groin.” Yongguk threatens, deadly serious. 

Himchan smirks. “Kinky.” After receiving a decently forceful whack round the back of the head, he concedes, smiling much more seriously than before. “Really, Guk. You should be honest with yourself, and me. I can only help you if you do that. What is it that makes you so desperate to protect Junhong?”

Yongguk leans back against his desk, looking at the untidy floor with a distracted gaze. “Guilt, Himchan. Intense guilt. I’ve never felt something so.. Utterly consuming. I don’t understand why it’s so strong towards him, but I feel like I have to be around him for real, see for myself that he’s not getting hurt.”

“Junhong’s fine.  _ I’m  _ the hurt one around here.” 

The curly-haired god frowns, looking confused. “Why? How?”

Himchan clutches at his chest, palm gripping at where his own heart lies. “Where were all these intense feelings when we were dating, hm?”

This time, Yongguk really does grab a book from his desk and whacks him hard with it. 

“The only intense feelings I have towards you are that of pure irritation.”

  
  
  



End file.
